Respect YOUR NEEDS
HELP FOR CODEPENDENT BEHAVIORS
I once read co-dependency described as the “agreement that I'm willing to work harder on your problem than you are.” Co-dependency shows up very often in families where addiction is present. We often refer to it as a byproduct of the disease. The addict is addicted to their substance, while the family is consumed with trying to control the addict. It's a nasty cycle that often leaves spouses and family members feeling helpless, out of control, and like it's their job to clean up the mess. It's not easy managing your tough situation. Typically families wind up repeating the same patterns over and over despite their efforts to make changes. It may not feel like it right now, but there is hope. I promise it can get better.
BREAK FREE WITH BOUNDARIES
Working with families with a loved one suffering from addiction, I've come to know the signs of co-dependency well. We think we're helping, but often that "help" is really just enabling and perpetuating poor behavior. I've spent years facilitating family counseling where we focus on identifying the unhealthy patterns of enmeshment and begin to establish new boundaries.
It may sound simple, but I've found that putting new boundaries in place is really hard for folks. Therapy can help, not only to identify what needs to change, but also to provide support in upholding those new boundaries and behaviors. When the guilt and fear show up, and you want to default back to your old patterns, our work will help you stay strong and believe in the changes you're making.
SIGNS OF CODEPENDENCY
Co-dependency is not reserved solely for those struggling with addiction. Many of us find ourselves in co-dependent relationships of all shapes and sizes. Do you find it difficult sometimes to say no? Ever find yourself doing things for other people you actually don’t really want to be doing? Are you more worried about how others will feel instead of your own feelings and needs? Are you too busy taking care of others that you don’t take care of yourself? Do you consistently find yourself in the role of peace keeper? These are all potential signs of co-dependency. Whether it’s your partner, your mom, or your boss, perpetuating co-dependent relationships often leads to people feeling trapped, low self-esteem, and needing to meet others’ needs in order to feel valuable and worthwhile. Treatment focuses on helping you to establish and set new boundaries, prioritize your own needs, and let go of guilt and obligation to put others’ needs first.
If you are one of the many people seeking a caring and effective talk therapist in Lafayette, then you've come to the right place. Tree of Life Counseling can help. Beka is a Lafayette native with the training, passion, and experience to assist you with a variety of mental health challenges.
A LETTER FROM BEKA
I see you...
You wonderfully “normal” people who may be feeling not so normal in the quiet of your mind, late at night, when you lay your head on the pillow, wondering yet again “How did I get here? Is this really my life?"
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I know that place is scary, maybe even so scary you're afraid to admit you're there, afraid to say it out loud.
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You might be thinking:
What if things change? What if they don't?
Admitting it to someone else makes it real.
Asking for help makes me feel crazy and defected.
Trusting someone else is a risk, one I'm not sure I'm willing to take.
What will other people think?
What if it's too hard? What if I can't do it?
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If any of that sounds familiar, I want you to know that you are perfectly NORMAL and that most of us find ourselves there at some point or another.
We get trapped on this merry-go-round in our heads and sometimes it can be impossible to get off without some outside help. There is nothing wrong with that! It simply means that it's time to acknowledge that what you're doing isn't working anymore.
It's time for something new.
If I can promise you anything, it's this... you don't have to do it alone. I know it's tempting and it often feels much safer that way. But the reality is we're not built to do life alone, and the longer you resist, the harder it is to receive help.
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I see your suffering. I know it well. And I want you to know, it doesn't have to be that way. There is hope and joy and beauty in this world. Most of us just need help getting out of our own way in order to find it again.
I see you. I’ve been you. I want to help you. Let’s talk.
Have a question about counseling or services? I'm here to help!
Contact Beka now.
In case of emergency, please call 911 or
go to your nearest emergency room.
Other support services include:
Suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255
Louisiana Rape Crisis Centers: 1-800-656-4673
Louisiana Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-888-411-1333
Department of Social Services: 1-888-524-3578
Louisiana Association on Compulsive Gambling: 1-877-770-STOP
Our House Help for Teens: 1-888-442-TEEN
